The Midnight Catfight & The Ghost of Meow Manor
It was a dark and stormless night — the kind of night where your bed feels like a cloud and dreams of pizza and winning the lottery are just starting to roll in.
But alas, peace was not to be.
At exactly 3:06 a.m., just as you were drifting off, a blood-curdling “REEEEOOOOOWWWR!!” pierced the silence. Your eyes snapped open. The walls trembled. Your soul briefly left your body.
“Is that… a demon?” you whispered, clutching your blanket like a holy artifact.
You tiptoed to the window, heart racing like a squirrel on espresso. Outside, in the inky darkness, two cats were locked in the most dramatic WWE-style face-off you’d ever seen.
One was your cat. The other? Probably his shady friend from the alley — the one who looks like he sells expired sardines behind the dumpster.
Your cat arched his back like a possessed croissant. His tail puffed out like he’d stuck it in a socket. Then came The Sound again — a howling, growling, yowling ghost-opera screech that echoed off the walls like a haunted saxophone solo.
You were now 99% sure your apartment was being haunted by a Victorian ghost-cat.
Panicking, you grabbed your phone and whispered, “Hey Siri, how to perform exorcism on cat?”
Meanwhile, outside, the two feline gladiators were now doing zoomies around a parked car, occasionally stopping for dramatic monologues in Meow-ese.
You banged on the window. “HEY! GO HOME. SOME OF US HAVE WORK IN THE MORNING!”
Your cat paused, turned toward you with an expression that said, “You dare interrupt my battle?” Then he slapped the other cat with a paw that screamed, “This is Sparta!”
Eventually, the alley friend fled dramatically into the shadows, swearing vengeance and probably writing an angry Yelp review about your neighborhood.
Your cat, triumphant, strutted back in like nothing happened, tail high, like:
“And now… feed me.”
You stared at him. He stared at you.
You fed him.
Of course.
And as you crawled back into bed, you swore you heard the wind whisper:
“REEEOOOWWWR…”
…but maybe it was just the ghost-cat, still lurking… waiting for round two.
